Warning: You May Be Offended

Children tend to duplicate and emulate what they see from their father and mother. As we always hear, action speaks louder than words. Thus, parents should lead by example and not depend on simply advising their kids on what to do or not especially if they don't walk the talk.

So when we rush them around and yell at them for playing when they're suppose to be getting ready for school. We hurry them through supper, bath time, then bed time, so that we can get other things done. Just so that we can get 20 minutes of peace? When we could have spent that time cuddling with them instead.

Over the past few weeks, I have really been analyzing my parenting skills. I am guilty of getting frustrated because I'm running late to work and the girls aren't cooperating. I am guilty of hurrying them to bed so that I can get homework or house-cleaning done. I've seen friends who get frustrated when their child wants attention and they are too busy on Facebook.  I have seen parents who just allow the T.V. to babysit their children. 

And then I think about it...what if I saw my children treat their children like that? What kind of example am I setting for my children? And then I realized that I really needed to change some things.  I mean, sure, they copy me and most of which I am proud of. When they are very loving and affectionate toward their babies, when Cally has such empathy for those poor animals (and starts crying) on television, I know they learned that from me.

 I am making sure that I cuddle with them every moment I get. I am making sure that if they want me to rub their back or rock them to sleep, I will do it. I will do my best to build my patience. I will never let them see domestic violence again. I will show them in every way, every day, that I love them with every inch of my being. I want them to want to be the kind of mother I am and strive to be.

So.... think about it... what kind of example are you setting for your children? Are you giving them the affection and attention that they need - and deserve? You're a parent, remember? When you agreed to have that child, you essentially agreed to little down time for yourself.  Children learn what they live. Make sure they learn love and laughter.

Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones…

… But words will never hurt me.  We have all grown up with this quote and we even teach our children to say it.  During the turmoil of a friendship ending, a really good friend of mine quoted on Facebook "Hurt people, hurt people."  In that, people do not need reasons to be hurtful.  These people do not respect themselves, so no one can be respected.

If we are continually abused we come to believe what is heaped on us is true, but there is an unusual way out of it. The bad person can embrace they are bad, and in finding that peace learn they are not. What keeps us in our problems is believing in our problems.  Just like when a child is told repeatedly that they are bad, stupid, or clumsy, they believe that they are what they have been told.

I use to be a very hurt and broken person. I was told by my mother that I was a nobody, ugly, stupid, and that I would never amount to anything.  I was told by men that I dated that no one would ever want me because I had too much baggage. I was told by a best friend that I had never done anything for her. I have been told by a girl that barely knew me “No wonder your best friend committed suicide – you were his friend.” I have been told that I am a horrible mother and I have been called every name in the book.  And people that I considered close enough to be family put me down every chance they had.

I look back on it and I can still feel the pain that those words caused; the sting and the hurt that these things can lead to.  You feel helpless and as though you are not loveable.  At some point, you when you pick yourself up and things start to go well, you begin to self-destruct.  You induce pain because you fear that your happiness will be pulled out from under you when you least expect it.

When we can finally step back and say, "Wow, that person was really mean-- I bet they are in a lot of pain." Then we can respond as Jesus calls us to-- with love for that person. Instead of firing back at them, we can respond in love, kindness, compassion and patience. This is like using a fire extinguisher on a fire. It starts to put it out. But if we choose hurt the hurting person back, it's like pouring gasoline onto that fire and hoping it will extinguish it!

That saying… “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is the complete opposite. What you say to someone may break or build them.  We need to start building up those around us. Even the creepy guy at work… offer him a Snickers. ;-)  Words can hurt... Choose them carefully.

Yours Truly,

Sylba