It is NOT Acceptable: The "R" Word

Seriously... get another word!

Before I begin this blog, please note that I am not bashing anyone and I do not think any differently of others.  I am beyond guilty of this and I am nowhere near perfect.  I’m all over the 1st Amendment. Good stuff, that right to free speech and assembly.

Retard:  1. to make slow; delay the development or progress of (an action, process, etc.); hinder or impede.  2.  To be delayed  3. a person who is stupid, obtuse, or ineffective in some way: a hopeless social retard.

About three years ago, when I was living with my friend Tracy, I would always say “that’s retarded,” or “how gay!”  I never meant anything by it. I was never intentionally or consciously saying that being “retarded” is stupid or that being “gay” is dumb. However, because of today’s society using it freely, it became a part of my everyday language.  My other favorite phrase was "What the crap?!"  LOL Although my "What the crap?" phrase still lingers, I have made myself very aware how offensive those other phrases were.  

I began to realize that I was not the only one who was saying it. All over, from children to teens to adults, use these terms. Without a doubt, many say it not realizing who they hurt and why they say it.  What many do not understand is that mentally retarded is a common diagnosis when referring to someone who has an intellectual disability. People who have intellectual disabilities are people who have dreams, families, jobs, lives and in some cases - spouses and children. They are not any less of a human being than someone who has a genius level IQ.

So why am I on this rant? Last Wednesday, I picked up Cally from school and was approached by the teacher. The teacher proceeded to explain that there is this little boy in Cally’s class that is mentally challenged and how none of the other kids like him. He is always being picked on by the students because he isn’t like them and they always call him a retard.

To my delight, she said “I am so pleased with Cally!  She helps him, she’s the first one to play with him, and she’s always so nice to him!  If the other kids start picking on him, she immediately stands up for him and defends him.  We are so proud of her!”  And oh my gosh! I just wanted to hug her and squeeze her and tell her how proud of her I was!! At that point, I realized that I was doing a damn good job of raising her and showing her what was right and wrong.

My point is this…. We need to be more self aware. I’m against laws censoring language (hate speech is an important exception), but I think as individuals we could do more self-regulating — whether or not we’re in front of kids.  The next time you call someone a retard or use it in a derogatory manner, ask yourself why you chose that word.  Is it because even though you’re neuro-typical you’re just not that smart? If spic and fag are racist slurs, why isn’t retard?  Just something to think about.